Wednesday, September 8, 2010

A Mother's Reflections... September 7, 2010

Today I couldn't help but think about how different Aiden is going to look in as little as 1 week!  What a bizarre feeling.  On one hand I think...I want to always remember Luv Muffin as he is now...the cutest little boy in MY world, the Aiden I have kissed and sang to, the Aiden I've made laugh over the silliest and smallest things...for example, blowing my nose!, the Aiden I have truly enjoyed and fell asleep thinking about. I'm actually going to miss his iddy biddy chin...his smile will never 'look' the same!  On the OTHER hand, I think...he's one step closer to getting rid of that trache!!  No more suctioning, no more humidity filters, no more fear of plugs, no more fear of simple colds, no more fear of water, no more fear of sand, no more horrible humidity hoses!, no more apnea/heart monitors,  no more fears of tantrums involving trache pulling, no more trache changes, no more trache collars...holy cow, I'll get to see his bare neck!!  I want to do a happy dance, but I would wake up Juan and Aiden. Now, I know I'm a little ahead of myself...but these are the thoughts that get me through this ordeal.  It may take another year or two or three (God forbid)...but it makes all of the pain, both  for Aiden and  for his poor poor parents, more bearable!  So...all of this reflecting on  all the changes my Luv Muffin will  be going thru and imagining what he will  look like in the end caused me to follow him  all around the house relentlessly with my camera shooting a bilion pictures.  Picture here, picture there, video here, video there. I felt like the paparazzi! I just want to remember the 'original' Aiden....

 
PLEASE.....keep your fingers crossed that the surgery does not get cancelled. I don't think my poor heart can handle the 'disappointment'. Nothing like getting all revved up, building up all the strength I can muster, just to be told "Sorry, we're going to have to reschedule...." Believe me, it happened once, it could happen again!!!! So, I'm gonna post my silly pictures and HOPE I don't jinx anything. I'm not superstitious...with this exception.

Today we spent some time in the backyard, the weather was beyond gorgeous! We even had to put long sleeves on the Luv Muffin. He didn't mind, he's been DYING to wear the new shirt GrammaDonna bought for him. Red is sooooooo his color! I'm not sure what got into him...Aiden was SO goofy, as I tried to capture on 'film'. My camera does not do action shots very well, may I mention. But I'm sure you can see his smile. How can you miss it??? Giggling over every little thing. I'm telling you, his sense of humor has expanded from laughing when something tickles him, to laughing to make ME laugh. I love it!! He's not only a Luv Muffin, but a clown! I don't want summer to end, but I DO love fall.  Halloween and pumpkin pie....fall will always remind me of my dad....

 
Earlier today was Aiden's trache change.  We aren't sure why, but the last few trache changes, he has cried.  We are afraid it may be irritated around his trache site, so we've been doing certain things to help keep it clean and to clear it up...whatever 'it' is.  Any bacteria or what not that is lurking around.  He only cries for a few seconds, then he claps.  Typical Aiden.  After the trache change, Juan and I took a trip to Target to shop for our hospital stay.  Some mini shampoos and soaps, all that jazz.  I spent the evening packing and getting ready.  The more I do tonite, the better..that was my thought.  I want to enjoy Aiden as much as possible tomorrow without worrying about silly stuff.  Of course I packed for like a week,  but after the last surgery, you can NEVER be too sure. 

Here are some before surgery pictures...once the surgery is complete and the pin turning phase is done, I'll take after pictures and put them side to side...




















Well...I was GOING to upload some videos, put this blog sucked every ounce of will out of me...remind me to NEVER upload this many photos. It is NOW 5:45am and I have sworn out loud at least 12 times. So...NO VIDEOS!!! But all in all...pretty upbeat blog, eh? Good Night...or shall I say Good MORNING!?

Okay...I caved...I uploaded the videos...now THAT'S dedication! ENJOY!!!!  and goooood night....
Don't forget...you can blow up the videos by clicking on the lower right hand corner.  It may be a smidge blurry but you can see better what Aiden is doing.... :-D

 

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