Straight From the Heart 8/12/2010

Okay, I couldn't leave this site with such a BORING BLOG, which I just finished posting...so I thought I'd take this opportunity to share a little of myself....to let it all come out.... 

My beautiful mom
 holding me when I
was just a baby.

The birth of Aiden has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. Not only is Aiden a blessing to me and my family because he brings so much happiness and laughter into our lives, but he is a blessing to me in a way I find hard to put into words, but I will try.  He has made me re-evaluate my entire life. Me having the same syndrome as Aiden has affected my life in so many ways, many of which were not good.  When I heard that Aiden was showing signs of having the same syndrome in the ultra sounds, I felt such sorrow and pain.  Not only did it confirm my thoughts of being "less than normal" and feeling like I was to blame, it made me sad to think he would go thru some of the heartache I felt during my late childhood and teen years.  Although my mom, sister, cousins, and close friends always made me feel beautiful, some kids and teens were not kind to me, they were down right mean...and I took it all to heart.  I began to believe all that those people were saying behind my back...I heard every word.  Those "people" had no idea how much their words and actions hurt. I couldn't imagine Aiden going thru the same thing.   Sure, as I grew older and after I had surgery, I started to break out of my shell and build some self confidence, but I always held on to the hurt.  I'm feeling it right now, even though I know I shouldn't.  That was my past.

Me and Aiden, when he was

just a tiny Luv Muffin

I share this not for pity, but to explain how Aiden has changed my life.  He has made me realize that I should NOT be ashamed for something I had NO control over and I shouldn't "blame" myself for Aiden having to go through the same fate.  Instead, I now feel proud, and I feel unique, and I feel STRONG for having gone thru what I've gone thru.  I feel like a better person, more compassionate towards others, less prejudice against those who cannot control what body  they were born into.  I often wonder how people think they can look down upon and belittle others when, I am positive, they are not perfect themselves.   Aiden made me embrace who I am and who Aiden is, and he's made me want to share my experience with others.  He has made me the most positive person and he has taught me to be thankful for all that I have, and not to dwell on the negative.

Chrissy and Aiden

I also now realize that me blaming myself for Aiden having to go thru all the heartache is just insane.  I gave him a chance at life!!  And let me tell you, he's loving every minute of it.  Yes, he has to go thru surgeries, but that is just a blip on his radar.  Him going thru all of this will make him the strongest, most compassionate, most understanding, least arrogant, least prejudice person.  I cannot imagine my life without Aiden...he is such a happy soul...he lites up the room with his eyes.  He makes every person fall in love with him with one smile. He makes everyone around him laugh and forget the petty and not so petty things they may have on their minds.  Aiden has taught me that life is not about money, about things, about work...it's about family and friends.  He's made me realize that I'm no less a person than anyone else, and I'm no longer ashamed to talk about my so called syndrome. Aiden has made me the happiest person alive. He gives me a new purpose in life, to be the best mom for the Luv Muffin. I also have Juan to thank for changing my life....he's the best partner...the best father...the hardest worker...my soul mate.  I'm so grateful for him. I am a VERY lucky woman and mom!!!

Aiden, sleeping during his

family portrait, Juan (Father),

Chrissy (Mother), Cristian and

Ivan (Aiden's older brothers)

Juan and Chrissy

So, as you read my blog, please forgive some of my boring enteries.  My intent is not only to keep Aiden's friends and family amused by Aiden's day to day adventures and make them feel they are close by, but to help me release some anxieties I may be struggling with when surgeries are upon us. It is  meant to teach others and help them understand more about Aiden and his rare syndrome and to help people who may be going thru what my family is. I also wanted to start this blog so Aiden and I could have something to treasure and look back on when we are older. I look forward to sharing our lives with you...Thank you for letting me spill my guts! GOOD NITE!