Aiden,...Aiden...Aiden....5:40am....really????? This morning I was just too tired for a "Thomas, the Train," but I didn't have much choice! What Aiden wants...Aiden gets!! Now, don't get me wrong...I'm not complaining (okay....maybe just a tiny weeny bit), he still made me laugh. I can't help it...the enthusiasm....the excitement....the screen talking...how could I not laugh and enjoy every bit of it. I wanted to shout alleluia at the top of my lungs when nurse Sonya got here at 7am....but I refrained. I didn't got out to the living room...I just curled up in a ball and went to sleep. I had nothing in me to share...I was depleted of any words.
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| Pixie, Oct. 2009 and she still remembered me! |
I woke up around 2pm with every intention of getting dressed and going over to my good friends, Dave and Jackie's House to visit them and to see my sweet pug, Pixie, who I had to give up due to her condition (being virtually blind and very needy and dependant) and due to our current situation with Aiden. That was one of the hardest things I had to do....and sadly enough, I only saw her once after Aiden was born. I want to get over there because she has some tumors that are indeed cancerous...and I know she probably doesn't have much time left. Before Aiden, she was like my child...my baby. But knowing that Dave and Jackie had made her their own, that made me feel so much better. I almost had to stop thinking about her because every time I did, I would cry....and really, she is at a great place and she's very happy. It doesn't take away the pain or the GUILT.
Anyways, before I even got in the shower, I could hear Aiden crying. Juan and Sonya had just finished turning his pins. I broke down crying....a mom can only take so much heart ache. I know....this is all for such a good thing, but it can wear on a person. AND I know it may be more crying out of over tiredness and frustration...but still, he's upset. Aiden NEVER gets upset, and now it's a daily thing. A given. I went and helped make Aiden feel better. It was the same scenario as yesterday...every time he would be close to being asleep, he would need suctioning. UGHHHHH! I'd be crying, too! Knowing that Aiden's nurse was leaving at 5pm and I didn't want to leave Juan (who is sleep deprived...with a puppy to take care of on top of it) alone too long, and most importantly, knowing that Aiden needed both of us, I didn't make it over to see Pixie. Okay, I must admit...today, I had to pop a Xanax. Don't worry, I'm not going to make it a habit...but today I NEEDED IT! and it worked wonders. Another thing that worked wonders was holding a sleeping Aiden. That worked better than the Xanax! (a great combo!) Once Aiden finally fell asleep, he slept for an hour or so. Better than yesterdays fiasco. One thing that worked...more than 'Thomas the Train' was using the 'chest therapy' stamp. It's a rubber thing that kind of reminds me of a stamp that you pound on someones chest, back and front. It helps bring up any thing that is lingering in the lungs and quite frankly, it very soothing...especially to Aiden. Kinda like the 'butt pat' or bouncing. Sonya left at 5pm and Juan and I took turns holding Aiden while we took turns eating. Soon Aiden woke up...with a smile, of course!
By that time, it was about 7pm...time for him to eat. Unfortunately, lately Aiden has been missing a meal each day. The last thing we want to do is feed him when he's crying or fussing or it's a guarantee that he WILL throw up. NOBODY wants that!! But he doesn't seem to ever be starving...probably because of all the extra water he's been getting. The rest of the evening was quiet and playful...which in my eyes is a perfect evening. Aiden shocked us once again tonite. Juan wanted to look something up on his Ipod (which is now AIDENS IPod...heeheee) and Aiden instantly wanted 'Thomas the Train'. Suddenly, he climbed up on the couch and onto Juan's lap ALL BY HIMSELF!!!!! What's the big deal, you ask? Aiden is short...he's always been too short to climb up the couch...but his urge was SO STRONG, he overcame his short comings...no pun intended, and got himself up there. Yet another thing his physical therapist will be proud of. Maybe that'll balance out her disappointment of him not yet learning how to climb downstairs. Heck, if I had a craniotomy and now a couple of pins sticking out of me, I don't think I'D be wanting to learn that either! The only really bad part of the evening is when he fell and hit his lip on his small 'high chair'. He ended up cutting his bottom lip...I felt so bad for him. He cried and cried...poor LUV MUFFIN!!!!!!! After the pain went away and the blood stopped, he was fine, but sheesh....what more does this little Luv Muffin need to get him upset . Growl. He did fine during his pin sight care and we got him ready for bed. Then it was time for our nightly 'Thomas the Train' Late Show. He fell asleep pretty easily and he's been sleeping pretty peacefully.Please please PLEASE don't let Aiden wake up at 5:30am....PLEEEEEASE!!!!!!! I know I'll be up, but by that time, my brain is mush and I would like to just stare at the tv and read the closed captioning. (yes...VERY exciting...) So I ask for everyone to cross their fingers for me...but that wont really do any good for tonight because, by the time you are reading this...it will be too late. Do it for tomorrow morning, then. THANKS and good nite!!! Once again, check out the photos below! He's looking so different!!!
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| Sept 8, 2010 |
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| Sept 18, 2010 |
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